I Just Fixed Public Education…You're Welcome

For my next trick, I am going to fix the public education system, and it’s going to be pretty easy. But wait, haven’t we been trying to do this for some time now? Nothing has worked so why do I have all the answers. I mean, I work in the profession and by all means that makes me one of the least qualified people to do so. It’s really the only profession which is overseen mostly by people who have never actually been inside a classroom. Maybe that’s where the problem begins. Anyway let me tell you what I’m not going to include in my solution.

I have a Passbook Savings,
get the hell out of my bank!

First, I am not going to mention that many of the people who set policy don’t actually work in education. Where else can you have minimal experience and be in charge and get to tell people what to do and how to do it? Hey I know how to withdraw money from an ATM so does that make me qualified to run a bank? This is a great idea, the next time I go into a bank to cash a check I am just going to start telling people what to do, just walk around the place like I own it. Then I might head over to G-Tech and just start firing people, for no reason, because I have bought scratch tickets, I KNOW THE BUSINESS!! But that is not part of the solution.

Yeah this will work.

I am also not going to explore the Privatize Education…errrrr I mean the Charter School solution. Someone explain to me why the only people in favor of For-Profit ….errrrr Charter Schools seem to be Mayors and Business Leaders. The Mayors just want to save money, the Business Leaders too. I mean why would the Business Leaders and the rest of the 1% crowd care about Public Schools? All their children go to Private and Prep Schools. Just admit it’s all about the money guys, you’re not fooling anyone. By the way Business Leaders who have all the answers, you are right about one thing, public education is definitely not like the private sector. Now if it were I’d be able to fire all my failing students and hire new one just like you get to fire all your failing employees and hire new ones. As one of my colleagues said once, “You can put a Charter School in our city under the condition that we get to select the students we send there”. Let me know how that works out for you. But, alas, that is not part of the solution.

The answer is simple and can be summed up in three words:

DO YOUR JOB.

Parents, DO YOUR JOB. Get your kids to school on time, help them study, get involved, be a parent for God’s sake (Sorry about the God reference Jessica). If you can’t do this…um…don’t have kids…just a suggestion.

Teachers, DO YOUR JOB. Stop whining about the job, if you don’t like it do something else. Take it seriously and if your ego doesn’t fit in the room then either leave the ego at the door or get out of the room.

Students, DO YOUR JOB. Six hours a day and some homework, I’ll tell you what, find any adult and ask if they’d trade their job for yours. You’ll get some takers. If you hate your life, this is your chance to move on and better yourself. Once you leave, there’s no one left who cares about you.

Administrators, DO YOUR JOB. Run your schools and districts fairly with the best interest of students in mind.

Everyone Else, with all due respect, zip it and let us do our jobs.

There, problem solved. Let me get to work on this economy now.